Some Fun with English WordsHere are some oddities concerning the English Language. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
Some Fun with English Words
(For Chinese Students of English: How to Improve Oral English Series
The purpose of this article is just to provide you with some fun!)
Here are some oddities concerning the English Language, that you might find funny, or from which you might learn new uses of the Language.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound. (To Wind / An Injury)
2) The farm was used to produce produce. (To Grow / Food)
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. (Not Allow / Rubbish)
4) We must polish the Polish furniture. (To Polish / From Poland)
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. (To Lead the Way / If Not so slow - weighed down with Lead)
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. (To Leave / After Dinner Sweets / In the Hot Dry Sandy Desert)
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. (Like this Moment Now / To Give / The Gift)
8] A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum (A Fish / On a Type of Drum)
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. (A Bird / To Dive Down - Dove)
10) I did not object to the object. (Do not say 'No' to / Some Thing)
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. (No Good or Useless / Handicapped or Ill)
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. (A fight / Action of making boat move)
13) They were too close to the door to close it. (Near / Shut)
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. (Male Deer / Female Deer)
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. (One who sews / WC plumbing)
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. (His Pig / to plant produce)
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail (The Air Movement / To Wrap or Move)
18 ] After a number of injections my jaw got number. (Da Zhen - Needles / Understood)
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. (A rip / To Cry)
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests (Submit / The Patient)
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? (To let someone know / A very close personal friend)
Why is it so?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
TONGUE TWISTERS
Not all of these tongue twisters make sense. They are meant only to help you with consonant and vowel pronunciation, and provide some fun.
'B'
Bob the billy goat bounced bravely on the boardwalk
Betty Botter bought some butter but she said this butter's bitter; If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter. So she bought some better butter to make her bitter batter better.
"K & C"
Come to the kitchen and kiss me quick cousin Kate, but don't let Kevin Costner catch us kissing.
Couldn't you catch a quicker coach to Castle Cove in Cornwall Kevin?
“D”
A 'doe' is a deer, and 'dough' is a food, and 'deer' is a food that is 'dear'.
David and Dulcie danced daintily on the deck of the Danish ship 'Dansk'.
'F'
Friendly folk are friendliest when dancing with friendly folk; and French folk are fondest of fast fancy dancing.
Fireflies fly fastest and more freely when flying with flocks of flamingos flying in France.
'G'
The gods granted great gifts to the Goths in Germany, and the gifts they gave were got with gluttony.
The giant gnats enjoyed gnawing on the gastronomic goods given them.
'H'
While Howard Horowitz house-hunted during Channukah, Henry Hopner hunted with the hounds at Henley.
He hated the 'hell hounds' and harassed them hard, and hoped that high Heaven hadn't heard.
'I'
Innuit igloos are an ideal innovation in icy, isolated places
Is 'Poison Ivy' as itchy in Indiana, as is the 'Itchy Ivy' in Idaho. I don't know!
'L'
When a tweedle beetle fights, it's called a 'tweedle beetle battle'. When tweedle beetles fight with paddles, it's called a 'Tweedle Beetle Paddle Battle'. When Tweedle Beetles fight with paddles in a bottle, it's called a 'tweedle beetle bottle paddle battle' When tweedle beetles fight in a puddle in a bottle, it's called 'a tweedle beetle bottle puddle paddle battle muddle'.
I languished listlessly, longing for the light of day.
'M'
When Mother Mahoney attempted to mount the mare, the mare moved and mother mismounted.
Mindful of Mary's mystic mindset, Mitchell mentioned the mysterious magic mountain, in the middle of Moldavia.
'N'
Nine Navy nurses nursed nineteen naval officers near Nanango north of Nerangba.
The knights of Newcastle were nifty with knives, nasty to knights, thrifty with naves, and naughty with nursemaids.
'P'
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked.
Pompous Pirates parade proudly in Pink and Purple Pantaloons.
'Q'
He's quick and he's quirky, but he's quite the quintessential gentleman when he is quiet.
The quiet state of Queensland is named after Queen Victoria.
'R'
Robert ran rapidly as he raced around the roundabout. Where is the roundabout around which Robert rapidly ran.
Rodeo riding is rough. The rules are rigid, the riders are rugged, and the races are frightening.
'S'
She sells 'sea shells' by the sea shore, but the shells she sells, are not 'sea shells' I'm sure.
'ST'
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
'T'
Tiny Tim was just a teen, a teen was tiny Tim. A nineteen year old teen was Tim.
'Th'
Though there are things that go bump in the night, and throughout the night there are noises, the noises throughout the night that you hear are usually nothing to fear.
'V'
The Vixen fell very quickly through the vent, but the vent, like a vice, felled her very quickly.
The university Vice Chancellor vented her anger very vocally on the vicar, who in turn voiced his vitriol on Vivien the volley ball team's vice captain.
'W'
Wendy wisely went to the window when she woke and wondered why, but as she waited by the window, watching and wondering, she awoke to discover she had been dreaming.
The waif wandered wistfully through the woods, wondering what at wonders she would see.
'Z'
Zorro's zebra was always dozing at the zoo. But dozing at the zoo in the daytime fazed the zoo keeper. So Zorro zealously kept him awake.
Idiomatic Phrases : In Australia at least!
First and foremost
I've copped (taken) a lot of flack (trouble) over this.
That's a load of B.S. (Feihua)
Don't jump the gun. (Don't be too quick - make sure of something first)
We had a 'D' & “M” (Deep and Meaningful conversation)
The lights are on but nobody is home (A person is not very bright)
I've had an eloquent sufficiency thank you. (I'm full! Baole!)
He's full of hot air. (He speaks nonsense)
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. (Don't be foolish)
He thinks he's God! (He thinks he knows everything)
That's the 'C.O.' (CEO) (Top Manager)
He/she was hysterical (2 meanings: Funny or Uncontrolled emotion)
He's a barrel of laughs (He's very funny)
I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on. (I'm very forgetful)
I wasn't born yesterday you know (I'm not stupid - you can't fool me)
Do you want the good news or the bad news. (You are not going to like what I tell you)
I'm stuffed ( 2 meanings: I'm very full of food - I'm exhausted)
And pigs can fly! (I don't believe it or you)
He/she is loaded (2 meanings: Lots of Money - or drunk)
Like hell I will (= I won't!)
Don't be a wet blanket (Don't spoil the fun)
Give her/him half a brain and it would be lonely (He/She is stupid)
N-O-T!!! (Children are always well behaved N -O -T) (= Not true)
Could you give me a hand please (Help me)
Give 'em and inch and they'll take a mile (They take advantage of you)
Stay (keep) on their backs (Be strict with them)
Give it a go! (Try it! Shi yi Shi)
It's like water off a duck's back (It doesn't bother me/him)
Don't give me the run-a-round (Don't try to confuse or fool me)
Luo Laoshi has been a successful teacher of English as second language, because he learned how to break through students educational and cultural barriers, to connect with them on a personal basis; to motivate them to be successful in English by teaching them the Skills (mechanics) of language use. If the purpose of learning English is just to pass a grammar exam, then Chinese students would be better off studying Chinese grammar. Luo Laoshi believes that the key to student success in studying English, is to learn 'the language' first, and the grammar second. Since the Education System in China puts such an emphasis on passing grammar exams, many students never learn the language.
Improving Spoken English in Chinese Classroom Just answering questions with one or two words, or a phrase, is not a real conversation. It is more like a Police interrogation. In a real conversation, people share information, expressing their thoughts, opinions and ideas. If you want to have a real conversation then you must speak in whole sentences, using keywords [for effective communication,] and you must also learn to give Informative Answers.
Conversational English for Chinese Students: It does not matter if you do or do not like foreigners; or if you do or do not believe Chinese people should speak English; or if you will or will not use English later in life; or whether you did or did not have any other Major to choose from. What is important, is that you do your best to be successful in all your studies. The purpose of language is to enable you to communicate with others. If you can do this using good grammar and perfect accent and pronunciation, then that is wonderful. But if your knowledge of grammar is perfect, and your pronunciation is perfect, and your accent is perfect, but you can't talk to people, then all your knowledge and skill is useless.
Teach English in China: Reflection: Keywords: Changing Topics - Using keywords is very important, even if they are the wrong keywords. It helps us to make sure that we are both talking about the same thing. Speaking in whole sentences, using Keywords, and giving informative answers, is very important for effective communication. The key to Changing Topics in a conversation is to use the Key words of a question or an answer, to change the direction of the conversation.
What does Effective Communication mean? Effective Conversation! Effective conversation (communication) is a conversation in which no one gets confused by the other person's MEANING. The first thing you need to do to ensure effective communication is to use reflection (key words). The second thing is to ask Clarifying Questions; questions that try to find out the other person's true meaning. An effective conversation can also mean a conversation in which something is achieved. It can be a conversation in which two people both enjoy the conversation and learn something. We should never assume anything in conversation. We should make sure.
Effective Conversation and Group Discussions in English In Group Discussions, it is not enough to KNOW language skills, you actually have to be able to USE them. In order to be successful, you have to forget that you are shy; you have to develop a strong voice; you need to learn how to 'butt in', and of course, you need a good vocabulary. In a group discussion the 'topic of conversation' will change several times, as participants use their skills to avoid topics they do not wish to discuss, or to 'force' the group to discuss specific topics that skilled speakers wish to discuss. Group discussions are not 'orchestrated role plays' that can be practiced in advance.
Answering Questions with informative answers: Informative Answers make conversation more interesting. They make Changing Topics far more easy to do through the use of reflection. They make communication far more effective. Answering specific individual questions and actually communicating, are not the same thing. Informative answers are not just about giving the answer to one question. They are about communicating with the other person, and sharing with them something that you think might interest them or which you know that they either want or need to know.
Asking good questions in English: Closed Questions: In essence, closed questions do not ask for more than one piece of information. They are conversation killera - Open Questions: Open Questions are questions that provides people with an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. - Multiple Questions: Multiple means 'more than one". "Multiple questions" ask more than one question at a time. - Informative Questions: If you ever find yourself wondering why a person is asking you certain questions, it means that the person has failed to make their question informative.
How to Think in English: Memorize means: "to learn by heart" - Understand means: To grasp the meaning of something or to have thorough acquaintance with it; to be thoroughly familiar with it. Just because you memorize something, does not mean that you understand it. When you give a presentation, make sure that you know and understand what you have written. If you do this, it is less likely that you will forget your place.
Introducing Yourself: Does an introduction require skill? In fact it does. This is so because of the nature of an introduction. An introduction is your presentation of yourself, and your skill or otherwise at doing this, will effect the other person's judgement about who and what you are. The essence of good public Speaking is first found in the Preparation. A good public speaker knows exactly what to say, because they have developed very good preparation skills.
Vowels and Consonants: They say: 'Pronunciation does not have to be exact!' and they are right! Sometimes! Exact pronunciation can make the difference between being understood and either shocking foreigners or causing them to fall on the floor laughing. You have to be careful with your vowels. Do you have 'Six' lessons or 'Sex' lessons? Blue eyes or blue arse? And do you like fighting or farting? Or do you just like eating "ships"?
Mispronouncing English: A student who reads 100 words per minute clearly and precisely, pronouncing each word correctly, is much better to listen to than students whose faster reading slurs their speech, and makes their words incomprehensible. Reading fast often gets students into trouble, because they have not learned to pronounce every syllable in each word. You should not speak at a faster speed than 160 words per minute when reading or giving an Oral Presentation. While each word on it's own has a stress or accentuation on one particular syllable, those stresses are not supposed to dominate the sentence in which the words are used. Words are Stressed in a sentence to give them prominence (an importance) so that the listener knows the true message. The emphasis or stress we give to certain words, can change the grammatical meaning of the sentence.
Some Fun with English Words Here are some oddities concerning the English Language. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
Business English for Chinese Students: There are two inescapable observations when it comes to the topic of Business English. The first is that studying Business is about Learning Theoretical Knowledge and the second is that Studying English is not meant to be theoretical. It will not be until you are in the business environment that you get your hands on experience of the Business world, and at that time, you will need to recall all that you have learned at University about Business. The purpose of your studies is to give you the practical ability that you will need when you enter the English Speaking Business World. In terms of your education, If you get the top English score in China, but can't do the job you are hired to do, then it is clear that you have concentrated on quantity (exam results) instead of Quality (being successful in your learning). A quality student Understands what he has learned. A quantity Student, just gets good marks.
Foreign Trade Assignment: Many Chinese Students think that opening a business requires little more than finding suitable shop or office space. They know little about the legalities involved in starting up a business, of import / export licenses, tariffs, insurance, advertising, legal fees, demographic studies, business plans, office rentals or the initial cost of purchasing equipment. They express a desire to get rich working overseas but have no concept of overseas living costs. They have no concept of how various aspects of life are interdependent eg: how the price of oil effects life and business in general, and world trade in particular. They feel that someone should teach them rather than learning for themselves. Students need to learn how to research.
Business English Exams: The Chinese Educational System inherently leads students to believe that teaching is the process whereby students learn what the teacher says. Learning therefore, is the memorization of what the teacher teaches. Conversational English is about learning the skills of natural [business] conversation. The purpose of the test is merely to discover if the student has at least basic conversational ability. While social issues may not seem to have anything to do with business or politics, the fact is that when it comes to politics and business, one thing that is needed in every country is a stable social environment. Such environments are fostered by the benefits that result from the successful interplay between political decisions and business development.
Language Skills: Memorandum, letters, thesis, speeches: Improving Oral and Written English: A major skill lacking in most Chinese students is that of "word association", which is a thinking skill that connects words to ideas or concepts; linking one keyword with another but different keyword and topic. Word association allows us to think of more than the specific topic under discussion. The problem most students have in writing, is that they can't think of 'what to write next'. Using word association skills, the problem is not 'what to write', but what to leave out of your writing.
Writing Skills: Speeches and Letters: Everything - Memo, letter, fax, email, speech, Thesis, business report, essay or a novel has 3 basic sections that are the same. Introduction - Body - Conclusion. The Introduction and Conclusion are easy because you do them after you have finished writing the Body of your report / speech etc. That 'BODY' has 'BONES' - the outline that results when using a professional formula to construct the composition. The bones of the speech derives from your ability to apply word association to your topic.
Writing: Facts: Summararies: Reviews: Chinese Students do not know how to summarize what has been written. They know how to give their opinion on what has been written; often given through the lens of political or cultural ideology that is not related to the written work. They do not understand the difference between writing objectively and writing subjectively. Writing about an author's purpose, is not about 'offering your opinions' on the writer, or the correctness or otherwise of what he writes. It is not about your 'opinion'. 'Your opinion' is subjective. Objectively writing about 'the writer's purpose' requires understanding what he/she has actually written.
Descriptive Writing: What you do not see is just as important and relevant as what you see! What you do not say or write, is just as important and relevant as what you do say or write! Do not give your opinion, nor use your imagination. Observe and Describe! What do you think the message of the whole picture is. What story does it tell. This does not mean that you should invent a story! The message is derived from the observation of the evidence. You may speculate or draw an inference from what is evident. Learn to describe what you see - not what you imagine about what you see! Learn to write about what is written - not what you imagine about what is written!
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R.P.BenDedek is the owner and Editor of KingsCalendar.com which was originally set up to publicize his research results into the Chronology of Ancient Israel. Those results were published under the title: 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran'.
Whilst there have been many attempts to solve the chronological riddle of the Bible's synchronisms of reigns of the kings of Israel and Judah and their synchronism with other Ancient Near Eastern Nations, no other research is based on a simple mathematical formula which could, if it is incorrect, be disproved easily. To date, no one has been able to dismiss the mathematical results of this research.
Free to air Academic articles set forth Apologetics for and results of his discovery of an "artificial chronological scheme" running through the Bible, Josephus, the Damascus Documents of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and Seder Olam Rabbah.
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R.P. BenDedek writes social commentaries and photographic 'Stories from China' both at KingsCalendar, and as a contributing columnist at Magic City Morning Star News in Maine USA.
He has been teaching Conversational English in China since 2003 and currently (2013) is teaching in Suzhou City Jiangsu Province.
