What does Effective Communication mean? Effective Conversation!Effective conversation (communication) is a conversation in which no one gets confused by the other person's MEANING. The first thing you need to do to ensure effective communication is to use reflection (key words). The second thing is to ask Clarifying Questions; questions that try to find out the other person's true meaning. An effective conversation can also mean a conversation in which something is achieved. It can be a conversation in which two people both enjoy the conversation and learn something. We should never assume anything in conversation. We should make sure.
What Does Effective Conversation / Communication Mean?
Effective conversation (communication) is a conversation in which no one gets confused by the other person's MEANING. When people (both the speaker or the listener) don't use proper communication skills, the other person can be unsure of the speaker's meaning. There can be many reasons for not understanding their meaning.
People sometimes change the topic in the conversation, without letting the other person know that the topic has changed. Sometimes this happens because we lack skill, but sometimes it happens because we expect people to hear what we are thinking. People can't do that! They can only pay attention to what we are saying.
In the first article in this series, Chinese Students ask: How Can I Improve My Oral English?, in the Technical Terms Section, Effective Communication was defined as making sure that both speakers understand the meaning of the other. It requires speaking in whole sentences and reflecting back some of the words spoken to you. It may also require asking 'clarifying questions'.
Clarifying Questions are questions that try to find out the other person's true meaning. I had a Chinese boy ask me if he could come to my home and play with me and sleep with me. I had to ask him his meaning. He thought I didn't understand his words. I did understand his words, but I didn't understand his meaning.
In this article, we are going to discuss How to make your conversation effective. We will do this by using practical examples.
What Does 'Effective Communication' Mean?
1. Two different ways to define 'Effective Communication'.
As listed above, we already have one definition of Effective Communication, but there is another which is just as important to you as a student of English.
Many students don't enter into conversation because they feel inadequate to discuss the topic under discussion. Instead of demonstrating some skill at conversation, (perhaps by changing topic) they choose to remain silent.
When we deal with the topic 'Group Discussion', we are going to go into this problem in more detail, but right now, I want to bring something to your attention, so that you can improve your conversational ability. This especially applies to group discussions, but it also applies to discussions with foreigners.
An effective conversation can also mean a conversation in which something is achieved. It can be a conversation in which two people both enjoy the conversation and learn something. Nothing is more boring than discussing a topic with someone who doesn't talk. The situation is worse, when a foreigner finds that students want the foreigner to talk, but they themselves won't talk. It becomes a one sided conversation.
If you want to be involved with a group, or to have an effective conversation with a foreigner, you must show some interest in what the group or the foreigner is saying. If you don't really understand what he or they are saying, you only have two real choices.
The first is to simply tell them that you don't understand and to ask for a more simple explanation.
The second is ask some questions about the Keywords that are used. This makes you look intelligent and makes the other person feel that you are really communicating.
Later, when we talk about group discussions, I will point out that the best way to 'appear to be involved in a discussion', is to ask a few relevant questions. This shows interest in the topic and the person speaking.
So within this particular part of this article, we might say that a second definition of Effective Communication can be, Showing interest in the Speaker and his topic by using conversational skills.
2. Two ways to make sure that you communicate effectively.
The first thing you need to do to ensure effective communication (and therefore to have an effective conversation) is to use reflection (key words), and we already touched on this in the article, entitled:Why is Reflection Important? However, we also need to use the skill of paraphrasing the meaning of the other person. This is called Reflecting. Speaking the same keywords, or repeating what you think is the other person's meaning, helps to make sure that you are both speaking about the same thing.
The second thing you need to do to ensure effective communication, is to ask clarifying questions. (Questions that we ask in order to find out the other persons meaning.)
Let's now talk about these two important things.
a. Reflection and Reflecting.
The first thing I want you to note here, is that we are not talking about the dictionary definitions for these two words, as "mirror image" and "thinking". For our purposes here, Reflection means repeating some of the keywords; and reflecting means, paraphrasing the meaning of the other person, to make sure that you have understood correctly.
i) Reflection - using key words.
In the last article entitled: Why is Reflection Important I gave you some examples of how people can be talking at cross purposes. What this means is that because the key words were missing from the conversation, at least one of the two speakers does not realise that the topic has changed. The two people end up talking about two different topics - but they don't realise it at first. This is not an effective conversation.
In that article, I provided an example of how a topic changed, and how one of the people failed to realise it, because key words were not repeated. This is the example:
Person A: Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
Person B: No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Person A: Is it really beautiful there?
Person A means: Is it really beautiful there in Australia. But Person B was just mentioning Hong Hu and can think that Person A means: Is it beautiful there in Hong Hu.
Person B: Yes, I love it there. (He means there in Hong Hu)
If he had said: Yes I love it there in Hong Hu or Yes Hong Hu is beautiful, then Person A would know that the topic has changed.
Person A: What do you like the most? (Meaning: the most about Australia)
Person B: I just love how peaceful it (Hong Hu) is, and of course I just love visiting my friends (in Hong Hu).
Person A: What do you do there? (Meaning Australia)
Person B: Well sometimes we play Majiang (in Hong Hu) and sometimes we walk in the rice fields (in Hong Hu), and other times we ride bicycles along the ChangJiang (in Hong Hu).
Person A: But the ChangJiang is in China.
Person A is surprised to find that Person B is talking about China. Person B is confused.
Person B: Yes of course. So is Hong Hu! (He has been talking about Hong Hu the whole time - he does not know why the other person is surprised.)
Person A: Why are you talking about Hong Hu? (When I have been talking about Australia.)
Person B: Because you asked me if I like it there (when I mentioned Hong Hu).
Person A: No! I asked if you like it in Australia. (But he didn't say Australia - he said there)
Person B: No you didn't. You asked me if I will go to Australia in Summer, and I said that I wouldn't, but that I would go to Hong Hu. Then you asked me if I like it there. (An undefined or non specific reference to a place) I assumed that you meant (there in) Hong Hu.
Each person assumed that the other person understood the topic. This is not effective communication.
There is a saying in English: "If you Assume something then you will make an Ass of You and Me."
In a conversation, it is always better to know what the other person is talking about, than to assume that you know. If it is possible that you may have misunderstood someone, it is vital check with them. You can do this by reflecting back - or paraphrasing what they have said. This can be done either as a statement, or a question.
But to really make sure that there is no confusion and to guarantee an effective conversation, both speakers should constantly make sure that the other person knows exactly what they are talking about. In the conversation example above, there were several places where either person could have made sure that they were speaking clearly. For example:
Person A: Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
Person B: No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Person A: Could have used the keyword - Australia Is it really beautiful in Australia?
From this point onwards, this conversation would have been different, because it would have been about Australia.
Another example:
Person A: Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
Person B: No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Person A: Is it really beautiful there?
Person B: Said - "Yes, I love it there" but he could have made sure that Person A knew that he was talking about Hong Hu by asking: "Do you mean Australia or Hong Hu?"
Another Example
Person A: Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
Person B: No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Person A: Is it really beautiful there?
Person B: Yes, I love it there.
Person A: said: "What do you like the most?" he should have said: What do you like most about Australia?
If the question had been asked this way, Person B: would have realised that the question: "Do you like it there?" actually referred to Australia and not to Hong Hu. From this point the conversation would have been about Australia.
Another Example
Person A: Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
Person B: No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Person A: Is it really beautiful there?
Person B: Yes, I love it there.
Person A: What do you like the most?
Person B: I just love how peaceful it is, and of course I just love visiting my friends.
If Person B: had said: 'I just love how peaceful Hong Hu is'- then Person A would have known that they were talking about two different places.
Another Example
Person A: Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
Person B: No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Person A: Is it really beautiful there?
Person B: Yes, I love it there.
Person A: What do you like the most?
Person B: I just love how peaceful it is, and of course I just love visiting my friends.
Person A: said: 'What do you do there?' He should have said: 'What do you do in Australia?'
There were several points at which we both could have made sure that they exactly understood each other. But because they didn't, the conversation ended up in confusion. It was not an effective communication.
A confusing conversation.
Will you return to Australia during the Summer Holidays?
No, I will stay with friends in Hong Hu.
Is it really beautiful there?
Yes, I love it there.
What do you like the most?
I just love how peaceful it is, and of course I just love visiting my friends.
What do you do there?
Well sometimes we play Majiang and sometimes we walk in the rice fields, and other times we ride bicycles along the ChangJiang.
But the ChangJiang is in China.
Yes of course. So is Hong Hu!
Why are you talking about Hong Hu?
Because you asked me if I like it there.
No! I asked if you like it in Australia.
No you didn't. You asked me if I will go to Australia in summer, and I said that I wouldn't, but that I would go to Hong Hu. Then you asked me if I like it there. I assumed that you meant Hong Hu.
Just as the key to Changing Topics in a conversation is to use the Key words of a question or an answer, failing to use a key word can cause confusion.
ii) Reflecting - paraphrasing back the other person's meaning.
Even native speakers of English can fail to have effective communication. They can misunderstand each other because they have failed to use good conversational skills. Miscommunication is a common occurrence. The chances of miscommunication when dealing with a person from another culture, are even higher. The chances of miscommunication with a person from another culture who is not fluent, experienced, or comfortable when speaking English, are even higher.
Just as foreigners must always remain alert, and never assume that their meaning has been understood, so too must students of English. Effective Intercultural communication requires a great deal of skill. One part of that involves cultural understanding, but the very first important skill, is to make sure that when we speak, that we do not change topic without first letting the other person know. The second skill is to make sure that we have understood the meaning of the other person.
Often in class, I will ask the students: "Do you understand?". Of course, usually they say: "Yes!" But if I then ask them to tell me my meaning, I often find that they really don't know my meaning at all. Saying "yes" just to be polite, can lead to misunderstanding. Take this for example. In Hong Hu I used to say to the students:
OK. Now I want you all to stand up.
I want you to imagine that we are going to walk out the door.
Then we are going to walk down the stairs.
When we get to the bottom of all the stairs,
We are going to walk to the school gates.
Then we are going to all turn left
And then walk down the street.
Do you understand?
Naturally they all say that they understand.
Then I begin to walk them through my instructions, but when we get to the school gates, I ask them, by pointing with my arms, will we go this way (left) or that way (right).
It is surprising how often they will indicate that we should turn Right.
You see, even though they heard me say left, because they knew that the road ended just 20 metres away, they automatically chose to turn right. But that was not what I told them to do. When people give us instructions, or if someone tells us something very important, or if it is possible that we may not have heard or understood clearly, we should make sure of the other person's meaning.
You can do this by reflecting back what you think is the other person's meaning. Using the instructions (above), we could check the meaning by saying: "So you want us to go downstairs, cross to the front gates, then go into the street, and head toward town. Is that right?" Naturally, I would then know that they did not catch my meaning, and I would say: "NO! I want you to go the other direction!".
So reflecting the meaning,
means to repeat by paraphrase,
(in your own words)
what the other person has said.
Both reflection and reflecting are designed to make sure that you have heard and understood what the other person was meaning to say, and in this way, it also guarantees that you are communicating effectively.
Cultural Undestanding:
Earlier I wrote that "Intercultural communication requires a great deal of skill. One part of that involves cultural understanding"
The issue of cultural understanding relates to many things, the first of which is to make sure that we (as speakers of a second language), give the same value and meaning to foreign words, as does the foreigner. Take for example the simple statement that: "This is my Sister!"
In China, Sister can mean almost anyone. But until a foreigner knows this, he gives that word the same meaning that it has in English. He will rightly believe that your sister is the daughter of your mother and father. Once a foreigner knows that he might be misunderstanding you, he needs to ask clarifying questions. In this case, we are talking about the fact that two different cultures think differently about family relationships. We must all learn something of each other's culture and never assume that our cultural meaning will be the same.
b. Clarifying Questions.
In the section above about reflecting meaning the example I gave: "So you want us to go downstairs, cross to the front gates, then go into the street, and head toward town. Is that right?" is also called a clarifying question.
A clarifying question is a question we ask when we think that we might not have understood clearly, something that someone said. Now let's look again at the statement that: "This is my Sister".
I know that when a Chinese person mentions the word 'sister', that they might be talking about a cousin. So I always check. These days, I just ask: "Do you mean Jiejie / meimei, or Biaojie /biaomei?" I very quickly come to know the exact meaning. (More exact actually than in English.)
But let me give you two examples, of how difficult it can be at times, to understand someone exactly, because two cultures think differently.
Example A:
You see that beautiful girl there? She is my Sister. Her father is a teacher in this school.
So your father is a teacher here.
No! My father works in a company.
Oh! So you have different fathers.
Of course!
Well, that surprises me. I didn't think there would be too many kids in China who have the same mother but different fathers.
Huh? We don't have the same mother.
But you said she was your sister.
Yes!
I'm sorry! I don't follow you!
Her father is my mother's brother.
Oh! She is your cousin.
Yes! She is my sister-cousin.
The foreigner then mumbles to himself: "Crazy Chinese!"
Example B.
When you come to visit me, you can meet my sister.
Do you and your sister have the same mother and father?
Of course!
OH! You mean that she is your sister!
That's what I said didn't I? (Mumbling to himself the Chinese boy says: "Crazy foreigner!")
We should never assume anything in conversation. We should make sure.
We do this by repeating Keywords, by reflecting meaning, and by asking clarifying questions. If we do these things, then we stand a very good chance of having an effective conversation; a conversation in which there is no confusion. Of course, in order to do all of this, you have to remember to reply to questions using whole, or complete sentences; sentences with subjects, verbs, and objects.
In answering questions however, you also need to know how to give informative answers. An informative answer is one in which you give more information than was specifically asked for, because you already can guess the next question or two. It not only saves time to give the answers to those questions while you are answering the first question, but it also makes your answer more interesting.
That will be the next topic we look at in this series of articles.
Till then - I send to you my best wishes and hope that his article has been of help to you.
Luo Laoshi has been a successful teacher of English as second language, because he learned how to break through students educational and cultural barriers, to connect with them on a personal basis; to motivate them to be successful in English by teaching them the Skills (mechanics) of language use. If the purpose of learning English is just to pass a grammar exam, then Chinese students would be better off studying Chinese grammar. Luo Laoshi believes that the key to student success in studying English, is to learn 'the language' first, and the grammar second. Since the Education System in China puts such an emphasis on passing grammar exams, many students never learn the language.
Improving Spoken English in Chinese Classroom Just answering questions with one or two words, or a phrase, is not a real conversation. It is more like a Police interrogation. In a real conversation, people share information, expressing their thoughts, opinions and ideas. If you want to have a real conversation then you must speak in whole sentences, using keywords [for effective communication,] and you must also learn to give Informative Answers.
Conversational English for Chinese Students: It does not matter if you do or do not like foreigners; or if you do or do not believe Chinese people should speak English; or if you will or will not use English later in life; or whether you did or did not have any other Major to choose from. What is important, is that you do your best to be successful in all your studies. The purpose of language is to enable you to communicate with others. If you can do this using good grammar and perfect accent and pronunciation, then that is wonderful. But if your knowledge of grammar is perfect, and your pronunciation is perfect, and your accent is perfect, but you can't talk to people, then all your knowledge and skill is useless.
Teach English in China: Reflection: Keywords: Changing Topics - Using keywords is very important, even if they are the wrong keywords. It helps us to make sure that we are both talking about the same thing. Speaking in whole sentences, using Keywords, and giving informative answers, is very important for effective communication. The key to Changing Topics in a conversation is to use the Key words of a question or an answer, to change the direction of the conversation.
What does Effective Communication mean? Effective Conversation! Effective conversation (communication) is a conversation in which no one gets confused by the other person's MEANING. The first thing you need to do to ensure effective communication is to use reflection (key words). The second thing is to ask Clarifying Questions; questions that try to find out the other person's true meaning. An effective conversation can also mean a conversation in which something is achieved. It can be a conversation in which two people both enjoy the conversation and learn something. We should never assume anything in conversation. We should make sure.
Effective Conversation and Group Discussions in English In Group Discussions, it is not enough to KNOW language skills, you actually have to be able to USE them. In order to be successful, you have to forget that you are shy; you have to develop a strong voice; you need to learn how to 'butt in', and of course, you need a good vocabulary. In a group discussion the 'topic of conversation' will change several times, as participants use their skills to avoid topics they do not wish to discuss, or to 'force' the group to discuss specific topics that skilled speakers wish to discuss. Group discussions are not 'orchestrated role plays' that can be practiced in advance.
Answering Questions with informative answers: Informative Answers make conversation more interesting. They make Changing Topics far more easy to do through the use of reflection. They make communication far more effective. Answering specific individual questions and actually communicating, are not the same thing. Informative answers are not just about giving the answer to one question. They are about communicating with the other person, and sharing with them something that you think might interest them or which you know that they either want or need to know.
Asking good questions in English: Closed Questions: In essence, closed questions do not ask for more than one piece of information. They are conversation killera - Open Questions: Open Questions are questions that provides people with an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. - Multiple Questions: Multiple means 'more than one". "Multiple questions" ask more than one question at a time. - Informative Questions: If you ever find yourself wondering why a person is asking you certain questions, it means that the person has failed to make their question informative.
How to Think in English: Memorize means: "to learn by heart" - Understand means: To grasp the meaning of something or to have thorough acquaintance with it; to be thoroughly familiar with it. Just because you memorize something, does not mean that you understand it. When you give a presentation, make sure that you know and understand what you have written. If you do this, it is less likely that you will forget your place.
Introducing Yourself: Does an introduction require skill? In fact it does. This is so because of the nature of an introduction. An introduction is your presentation of yourself, and your skill or otherwise at doing this, will effect the other person's judgement about who and what you are. The essence of good public Speaking is first found in the Preparation. A good public speaker knows exactly what to say, because they have developed very good preparation skills.
Vowels and Consonants: They say: 'Pronunciation does not have to be exact!' and they are right! Sometimes! Exact pronunciation can make the difference between being understood and either shocking foreigners or causing them to fall on the floor laughing. You have to be careful with your vowels. Do you have 'Six' lessons or 'Sex' lessons? Blue eyes or blue arse? And do you like fighting or farting? Or do you just like eating "ships"?
Mispronouncing English: A student who reads 100 words per minute clearly and precisely, pronouncing each word correctly, is much better to listen to than students whose faster reading slurs their speech, and makes their words incomprehensible. Reading fast often gets students into trouble, because they have not learned to pronounce every syllable in each word. You should not speak at a faster speed than 160 words per minute when reading or giving an Oral Presentation. While each word on it's own has a stress or accentuation on one particular syllable, those stresses are not supposed to dominate the sentence in which the words are used. Words are Stressed in a sentence to give them prominence (an importance) so that the listener knows the true message. The emphasis or stress we give to certain words, can change the grammatical meaning of the sentence.
Some Fun with English Words Here are some oddities concerning the English Language. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
Business English for Chinese Students: There are two inescapable observations when it comes to the topic of Business English. The first is that studying Business is about Learning Theoretical Knowledge and the second is that Studying English is not meant to be theoretical. It will not be until you are in the business environment that you get your hands on experience of the Business world, and at that time, you will need to recall all that you have learned at University about Business. The purpose of your studies is to give you the practical ability that you will need when you enter the English Speaking Business World. In terms of your education, If you get the top English score in China, but can't do the job you are hired to do, then it is clear that you have concentrated on quantity (exam results) instead of Quality (being successful in your learning). A quality student Understands what he has learned. A quantity Student, just gets good marks.
Foreign Trade Assignment: Many Chinese Students think that opening a business requires little more than finding suitable shop or office space. They know little about the legalities involved in starting up a business, of import / export licenses, tariffs, insurance, advertising, legal fees, demographic studies, business plans, office rentals or the initial cost of purchasing equipment. They express a desire to get rich working overseas but have no concept of overseas living costs. They have no concept of how various aspects of life are interdependent eg: how the price of oil effects life and business in general, and world trade in particular. They feel that someone should teach them rather than learning for themselves. Students need to learn how to research.
Business English Exams: The Chinese Educational System inherently leads students to believe that teaching is the process whereby students learn what the teacher says. Learning therefore, is the memorization of what the teacher teaches. Conversational English is about learning the skills of natural [business] conversation. The purpose of the test is merely to discover if the student has at least basic conversational ability. While social issues may not seem to have anything to do with business or politics, the fact is that when it comes to politics and business, one thing that is needed in every country is a stable social environment. Such environments are fostered by the benefits that result from the successful interplay between political decisions and business development.
Language Skills: Memorandum, letters, thesis, speeches: Improving Oral and Written English: A major skill lacking in most Chinese students is that of "word association", which is a thinking skill that connects words to ideas or concepts; linking one keyword with another but different keyword and topic. Word association allows us to think of more than the specific topic under discussion. The problem most students have in writing, is that they can't think of 'what to write next'. Using word association skills, the problem is not 'what to write', but what to leave out of your writing.
Writing Skills: Speeches and Letters: Everything - Memo, letter, fax, email, speech, Thesis, business report, essay or a novel has 3 basic sections that are the same. Introduction - Body - Conclusion. The Introduction and Conclusion are easy because you do them after you have finished writing the Body of your report / speech etc. That 'BODY' has 'BONES' - the outline that results when using a professional formula to construct the composition. The bones of the speech derives from your ability to apply word association to your topic.
Writing: Facts: Summararies: Reviews: Chinese Students do not know how to summarize what has been written. They know how to give their opinion on what has been written; often given through the lens of political or cultural ideology that is not related to the written work. They do not understand the difference between writing objectively and writing subjectively. Writing about an author's purpose, is not about 'offering your opinions' on the writer, or the correctness or otherwise of what he writes. It is not about your 'opinion'. 'Your opinion' is subjective. Objectively writing about 'the writer's purpose' requires understanding what he/she has actually written.
Descriptive Writing: What you do not see is just as important and relevant as what you see! What you do not say or write, is just as important and relevant as what you do say or write! Do not give your opinion, nor use your imagination. Observe and Describe! What do you think the message of the whole picture is. What story does it tell. This does not mean that you should invent a story! The message is derived from the observation of the evidence. You may speculate or draw an inference from what is evident. Learn to describe what you see - not what you imagine about what you see! Learn to write about what is written - not what you imagine about what is written!
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Whilst there have been many attempts to solve the chronological riddle of the Bible's synchronisms of reigns of the kings of Israel and Judah and their synchronism with other Ancient Near Eastern Nations, no other research is based on a simple mathematical formula which could, if it is incorrect, be disproved easily. To date, no one has been able to dismiss the mathematical results of this research.
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