Today, I am using a recent letter from Jerry, to tell a story ¨C a sad story. It is a story rooted in Ancient and Modern Chinese Culture. It is a story of an impossible love. It is a story I have heard so many times before, of families who refuse to allow their children to love whom they will. It is a story about how in the 21st century, Chinese children must still obey their parents and marry the one of whom the parents approve.
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I have a friend in China whose English name is Jerry or Jerich. His Chinese name is Yang Guangyou and he once wrote an article for me which I published both at Magic City Morning Star News and here at Kingscalendar.
Today, I am using a recent letter from Jerry, to tell a story ¨C a sad story. It is a story rooted in Ancient and Modern Chinese Culture. It is a story of an impossible love. It is a story I have heard so many times before, of families who refuse to allow their children to love whom they will. It is a story about how in the 21st century, Chinese children must still obey their parents and marry the one of whom the parents approve.
Here then is that story ¨C in part. The final act is as yet unknown.
At the beginning of 2011, Jerry met a lovely girl named Qiqi in Suzhou City. She was working as a Manager in an American restaurant and at that time, in the evenings, he was managing a Bar close to her restaurant. He was also working during the day for a food importer.
The first time he saw Qiqi was at her restaurant, and she was reading a book on business management. Jerry describes her as the most interesting girl he ever me; silent, beautiful, hard-working and studious. He felt deeply attracted to her.
One of her colleagues had asked Jerry if he would help Qiqi with her English studies and invited him to the restaurant to meet with her. Despite having laryngitis, he agreed to the meeting. Of Qiqi and their meeting he wrote:
My throat was injured and I could not speak so I wrote what I had to say in my phone and let her read it. God I loved her smile, like the most beautiful angel in my life. I asked for her QQ number and began talking to her every night.
The restaurant staff like me and were pleased to see that I wanted to be her boyfriend. I got so many peoples' support and they told me her birthday, her interests, her hometown, and the most important thing, that she was single. She said that her parents would never allow her to fall in love with anybody as they want her to get marry someone from her own hometown.
I saw the disappointment and sorrow on her face. She told me that she wanted to have her own life but she had no choice because her parents never listen to her.
Over a few weeks we fell in love. I love her, and she loves me, too.
I bought lots of English books for her because she wanted to learn English and I taught her everyday. She is hard-learning and made big progress. I am happy to have a girl who is so hard-learning and never asks for expensive things and is so gentle.
She is so different to other girls. She can cook and she can wash and made my suit tidy everyday. I told her that I have no money, but she said: "you have me. We will work hard for our future together".
As the year progressed their love for each other grew and one thing led to another until one day they discovered that Qiqi was pregnant. Qiqi told Jerry that they must return to her hometown and talk to her parents. This they did, but not before Jerry spoke to his parents. They were happy to know that they were going to have a grandchild.
I remember Jerry's telephone call and his fear of having to face Qiqi's parents. He was glad that his own parents were happy, but felt sure that there would be hell to pay with Qiqi's parents, and was certain that they would not allow the couple to marry.
At this point in the story, you are no doubt wondering how parents could stop kids in their middle twenty's from getting married, but this is where Chinese life and culture is different to western life and culture.
In order to get married, the couple has to be able to produce their 'Hukou.' 'Hukou' is a common name used in mainland China for the household registration system. (Wikipedia) This document is held by the parents and should they refuse to release it, the son/daughter cannot complete the necessary legalities for the situation in which it is required. In this case: Marriage.
In order for Jerry and Qiqi to marry, they needed to obtain the necessary papers from their parents and Qiqi's parents not only refused to provide them, not only forced Qiqi to have an abortion, not only banned her from seeing Jerry, but refused to let her return to her job in SuZhou.
Jerry writes:
We bought some gifts and went to Xi'an. She didn't talk to her parents first because she is afraid of her parents. She made a phone call to her mother when we arrived at the gate of her house. Her mother was angry with that.
She asked her about my family, and Qiqi was honest with her mother. She told her that my family is from countryside, not rich. Her mother refused us because I am poor and I am from countryside and I do not have a good job and my family is far away.
When her father came back, he also refused to let us marry and told me to go away. We kneeled down to them and begged for permission the whole afternoon. Her mother said okay in the night and told her daughter that she could go together with me. I knew that she may lied to us but I can not tell my girl that her mother is lying to her.
The second day, her mother asked me to go first and let her daughter stay at home for some days. I knew that her mother changed her mind and she will not let me to see her any more.
When Qiqi insisted to go together with me, her father beat her on her face and told me to (expletive) again.
Her mother told me if I want to be with her then I need to bring 50,000 RMB before spring festival. I could do nothing with that and I finally decided to leave and prepare money for them.
One week later, she told me that her parents do not allow her to use her cellphone any more, and asked me to go there and pick her up. I went to Xi'an city again and wait for her phone call. But she didn't call back. Finally she called me and told me that her mother changed her mind again and they are going to take her to hospital to kill the baby. She cried and cried, and said maybe she has no choice but to follow her parents' idea.
I saw her mother and her relatives the second day after they went to the hospital. Her mother said that she will never allow us to be together unless I take 300,000 RMB to them. Then I can get married with her. I asked permission to see her but they refused. I left Xi'an five days later.
I have called her everyday but her cellphone is powered off. I called her cousin but he didn't tell me anything and he doesn't want me to call him any more.
As I already indicated, Qiqi has not been allowed to return to her job. When Jerry went to see Qiqi's parents, he was away from his regular job longer than the time he originally specified. I do not know and have not asked if Jerry was fired or he just resigned, but Jerry today is working in a factory in Tianjin city. He left Suzhou because, as he put it, "I thought that I might feel better if I was not in Suzhou, but now I find that it is impossible to calm down."
A few days ago, Jerry called asking for advice. He wanted to know whether he should go back to Xi'an and press once more for Qiqi's hand in marriage or just wait. I told him quite frankly that as I am a western man, I really do not know what he should do and advised him to seek the counsel of older Chinese men and women.
He told me that he had already done so, and that their advice was that the parents will not relent and that he should forget the girl and get on with his life. His younger friends however have told him to return to Xi'an.
No matter what we westerners see in China, and no matter how rich, worldly wise or educated Chinese people may appear to be, the Chinese mind is not western. Their culture is not western and the realities on the ground for them, are not the same realities on the ground for us westerners. Their culture is still very much traditional, and of that, Jerry concluded his latest letter to me with: I hate this kind of traditional culture!
It was decided that unshod horses would not be allowed to be used in commercial ventures. People couldn't ride horses for a living; salesman couldn't load goods onto their horses; and horses could no longer pull carts. While it all seemed quite logical and humane, the unforeseen consequence of the law was that the supply of goods into and out of the town began to dwindle, until in the end, business after business went bankrupt. As time went by the whole city went bust until the only ones left were those who could not afford to move, and one of these was our blacksmith. One day, considering that since the council itself was now gone, the blacksmith decided to restart his business.
Today, I am using a recent letter from Jerry, to tell a story – a sad story. It is a story rooted in Ancient and Modern Chinese Culture. It is a story of an impossible love. It is a story I have heard so many times before, of families who refuse to allow their children to love whom they will. It is a story about how in the 21st century, Chinese children must still obey their parents and marry the one of whom the parents approve.
One would think that based on those two great truths that the Commonwealth Bank would have the organizational and managerial flexibility to deal with any situation to arise, but apparently they do not - OR - they don't wish to! But you just have to wonder if at the end of the day, the whole issue is not just about "a shortage of competent staff" and a lack of good old fashioned customer service.
American Chinese cuisine is not quite the same as regular homestyle cooking back in Mainland China. I think that it might be wise to bring a Mainland Chinese cook back with you, unless you are ready to install a MacDonald's restaurant on site. But a major problem that I think Dr. Smith is likely to encounter, is that far too many Chinese students who have passed the International Language Tests in order to study overseas, arrive on campus without any ability at all to understand what is spoken, or to be able to speak English. Such is the state of those tests.
A common thread running throughout Yang Guangyou's work life is that employers expect and demand so much of him but have consistently discriminated against him because he has no college degree. He is a diligent worker, professional in his various supervisory positions and is quite at home conversing in English. As of December 2011, he is again unemployed. (January 6, 2012 - Received word that he is working in Tianjin.) Jerry's Story: When a boy is around the age of 20, his parents will find a person to introduce a girl to him as a wife. At this time the family of the male part will give 10000 to 20000 [rmb] to the family of the female part. Generally speaking , they will not change the relationship once it is built. After that, the family of the male part will collect money for the wedding, 20000 RMB maybe. But that is not enough because the female part usually ask for a new house which can be built around 100,000 RMB in that place.
With something like a 70% Rural Population, many kids grow up in the countryside, in tiny little villages, or larger but still small towns. They run, play, fish and swim in the nearby fields and streams. Probably most don't have running water in their homes, and certainly not bathrooms. The outhouse is literally the outhouse, and the waste will run off into some fish pond or similar.
In China, the rights of society take precedence over individual human rights. This, we Westerners call totalitarianism and from an ideological perspective, desire to destroy it right? But ask yourself this: "What does MY country promote?" In China, there are many social problems that similarly exist in your country, and these are slowly being dealt with. But it seems to me that while China's totalitarian regime is focused on making China a 'harmonious society,' that in the west, everything is aimed at promoting sectarian interests which divide society.
, 2006My Student friend has already 'cheated' in 4 exams this school year. Well, he doesn't actually 'cheat,' he just 'pretends' to be someone else, and does their exams for them. It's a simple process really. They merely substitute photographs in their identity cards. The first thing I had to tell him was that the reason I seem so happy, is that if I allowed myself to be controlled by all the 'negatives' that surround me, I would have to quit my job and go home. 'The Secret of Being Happy,' I informed him, 'is that happiness comes from within you. It is not the result of happy experiences.'
You may find this hard to believe, but Chinese students can memorise a 20 minute monologue - perfectly. They memorise their lesson texts. They might understand nothing. They certainly cannot commence at paragraph two or three: they must start from the first word and go through to the end. However, they can memorise perfectly. So this is what these two girls did.
Chinese Students: Chinese Youth: Problems of Chinese Young People. This file was intended to be added to on a regular basis. Unfortunately it wasn't. The friendship with Mingxing has however continued, and as can be seen in the photographs in the Confucious Temple article listed above.
As I turned in at the gate, I was dismayed to see people leaving. My arrival naturally evoked the expected 'LaoWei! LaoWei!' As I entered the church, the few people that were left rushed to greet me and began to explain in Chinese, whatever it was that they were explaining. My heavy sigh was sufficient to impress upon them my disappointment, and resulted in one man grabbing my overcoat and pulling me outside, whilst the rest pointed off in the distance. Ahah! I was being taken somewhere. We walked for about 15 minutes down the road. Now up to this moment I thought that Chibi consisted only of that part of it that I had already seen, but it actually continues on to a busier and more residential section, which is quite separate from that part next to the Museum/Park
Chibi is 20+ kms east of where I lived in Hong Hu, and I could ride my bicycle, take a taxi or catch a bus to the Barge Crossing. Of course one must then wait for the barge, and that can take some time. On the other side of the river it is just a case of walking a short distance to the museum and lookouts.
You will arrive at Taipa House Museum Area with so much to see. If you want to go into the Museum you must pay. But there is also much to see outside. This is a museum beside the A-Ma Temple on Macao Island. This sits on the waterfront and you can see Zhuhai in China across the harbour.
Beijing
(Note: Chiara Braccagni's articles are in both English and Italian)
A una di queste chiamate, ci fermiamo a fianco a una coppia di giovani. Non solo i due incauti avevano diversi sacchetti, ma portavano con sé anche una torta. Dopo varie discussioni con la bigliettaia perché la torta nel pulmino proprio non ci stava, provano ad aprire il finestrino e a passarla alla ragazza seduta di fronte a Justine. Visto che non riuscivano a spostare il vetro, sporgendomi, faccio alla bigliettaia: "Lo faccia passare da qui" (okkei, va bene, ho detto solo "da qui," il resto della frase era sottinteso!). Io, anima ingenua, credevo che una volta saliti i due giovani avrebbero trovato il modo di riprendersi la torta. E invece no! Mi sono fatta una decina di chilometri di strada sterrata con una torta gelato sulle ginocchia! E giusto per renderla ancora più precaria, era una torta a due piani con complesse decorazioni, tra cui un drago giallo con occhi e baffi di cioccolata. Avevo il terrore di spetasciarla. A questo punto, però, ridevamo da non riuscire più a respirare.
Mt. Tai is located in the center of Shandong Province, lying across the cities of Tai'an, Jinan and Zibo. Its main peak, Jade Emperor Summit, which is within Tai'an City, is about 1532.7 meters (5,029 feet) high. The mountain was once called Mt. Daishan, Mt. Daizong or Mt. Taiyue and was renamed Mt. Taishan in the Spring and Autumn Period (770BC-476BC). It epitomizes splendid Chinese culture and was listed in the World Natural and Cultural Heritage List of UNESCO in 1987
Many people say that my cursive Chinese writing is just terrible scribble. Now I know that they are just jealous because I have mastered a unique form of calligraphy. Du Fu Selected Poems Translated by Rewi Alley Foreign Languages Press 2001
On the Matilda Trail by Captain Sandy Stewart. Today we are going to head north to Mt Isa, but before we go we have a few things to do. First of all we have to go to the FLYING DOCTOR HQ and thank them for the tip of when the plane was coming in. On our way back to town we went past the Vortex guns built by Steiger Vortex as a rain making exercise in 1902, it failed. We are now crossing over Lagoon Creek heading for Longreach. Cruising west 80 kms to Ilfracombe we stop to have a beer at the Wellshot Hotel and guess what! THE PUB'S GOT NO BEER.
Spanish Lighthouse at Corregidor Island had a signpost letting us know how far from home we were - The Centerpiece at the War Memorial for American Soldiers in Manilla - Corregidor Island Battery looking toward Batan - Military tanks at the Philippine Military Academy
When excavating workers discovered the original Royal road and archaeological viewing platforms have been set up from both above and beside the original road. No charge! You can go down the ramp and clearly see the road and the accompanying signs/ The Chaotian Gate - During the Zhizheng Reign of Yuan Dynasty it was renamed to Gongbei Tower. It was destroyed in the 10th year (1474) of Chenghua Reign Ming Dynasty and rebuilt in the next year. The building was destroyed again in early Qing Dynasty and rebuilt in the 25th year (1686) of the Kangxi Reign Qing Dynasty. It is known as Drum Tower.
We spent quite a bit of time in Leifeng Pagoda before leaving to take a cab back to our hotel. On the way out we read all the signs about the Pagoda's history and the Story of Lady White Snake. We also stopped so that Mingxing could duck into a little temple beside the Pagoda. I took the opportunity to sit on a fence and have a cigarette. While doing so I notice 2 young couples at the entrance and one of the boys looked at me, smiled, said something to his girlfriend who then produced a camera and then made a beeline for me so he could have his photo taken with a 'real live foreigner.' We foreigners probably have our photos taken more often than movie stars.
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About The KingsCalendar Website
R.P. BenDedek (pseudonym) is from Brisbane Australia and has been teaching in China since 2003. He is the author of 'The Kings Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' - and -
Since 2004 he has been writing academic articles, social commentaries and photographic 'Stories from China' both here at KingsCalendar, and formerly as a contributing columnist at Magic City Morning Star News (Maine USA) where from 2009 to 2015 he was Stand-in Editor. He currently has a column at iPatriot.com and teaches English to Business English and Flight Attendant College Students in Suzhou City Jiangsu Province People's Republic of China.)
BenDedek originally created the site to publicize his research results into the Chronology of Ancient Israel. Those results were published under the title: 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran.' Whilst there have been many attempts to solve the chronological riddle of the Bible's synchronisms of reigns of the kings of Israel and Judah and their synchronism with other Ancient Near Eastern Nations, no other research is based on a simple mathematical formula which could, if it is incorrect, be disproved easily. To date, no one has been able to dismiss the mathematical results of this research.
Free to air Academic articles set forth Apologetics for and results of his discovery of an "artificial chronological scheme" running through the Bible, Josephus, the Damascus Documents of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and Seder Olam Rabbah. Check the Chapter Precis Page to see details of each chapter and to gain access to the Four Free to Air Chapters
(The Download book does not contain a section on Seder Olam)
Definition: King's Calendar Chronological Research
The Premise: Between the 5th and 3rd centuries BCE (but continuing down to at least 104 BCE), Sectarian redactors transcribed the legitimate 'solar year' chronological records of Israel and Judah, into an artificial form, with listed years as each comprised of 12 months of 4 weeks of 7 days, or 336 days per year, thus creating a 13th artificial year where 12 solar years existed.
When the Synchronous Chronological Data provided in the Books of Kings and Chronicles for the Divided Kingdom Period are measured in years of 336 days, the synchronisms actually align. [Refer to Appendix 5. to see how it synchronises the Divided Kingdom Period]
