Chinese Homosexuality: Gay Prostitution: Aids: Healthcare: Troubled Chinese Youth.
Part 3 : Gay and Homeless in China - Going Home!
(Originally, there was quite a different article on this page.
As the situation changed, so too did that original article.)
At the end of the original article on this page, I placed a personal message to those who accessed this page looking for an interpreter in SuZhou. It read:
Between April 21st and May 13th 2007, I have spent a lot of time with Jim/Jian, and have seen the change in his personality. He has finally discovered that there are people in the world you can trust, who don't want to take advantage of you. He has learned to tell the truth. He has woken up to the fact that he has really been wasting his life.
Unfortunately, he can't go home to his family. His choices are to beg or prostitute himself (like so many young men do in SuZhou) or earn an honest living. But he does not have his identification card. This means that he can't get a 'real job' and can't rent a room in which to live.
Currently I am working with a reporter (Raymond Zhou from Chinadaily.com), to see what we can do for him. The first priority is to get his identification papers. This is a problem which can only be resolved with his parents cooperation. We have yet to see this situation resolved. Ultimately, we are hoping through some rich person's generosity, to get him back into school. He has a bright future if he can just finish his schooling.
Jim/Jian's English is OK, and he can be trusted. He is very immature (innocent) for his age, but he will be very happy to earn an honest living.
Everything I wrote above was and is true. Unfortunately, there is no accounting for the decisions that people make.
Some American Christians took Jian under their wing for a short time here in Suzhou. They bought him expensive shoes, trousers, shirt, underwear, bag and Bible. They offered to give him train money to return home to his parents.
I ran into Jian up at Shi Lu one night, just before the Americans left town. We had a long talk about the fact that he was wasting his life; that his parents really just wanted him to apply himself equally to Chinese and Math studies, as to his English Studies. When I left him, I thought that maybe he was finally going to go home. I spoke to him about the parable of the Prodigal Son and asked him to get the Americans to explain it.
I tried to tell him that when he returned home, he should go home as a guest, not a son. He should go home appreciating all that his parents had done for him; that he should go home penitent for having caused them so much trouble.
He did not turn up at my apartment the following week as was his habit; to get his clothes washed, to clean up, to eat and get proper sleep. During the following week I emailed him. He wrote back that he had indeed gone home, and that his parents had given him his identification papers. But there was something in his email that I did not understand. I wrote asking for clarification.
Some days later I received a message that he was back in Suzhou. One night I returned from dinner to find him waiting for me at my apartment. He informed me that because his parents expect him to marry, he could not remain at home. What a Fool! He is just 17 and by law can't marry till he is 22 years old. I told him that his justification for leaving was a lie.
In fact, he has decided that he likes his life. He tried to tell me that he will find work now that he has his ID. We both know that he won't. Finally he told me that the Rent-boys who sell their services are going to teach him how to cheat prospective clients. It is well known in China that many boys who sell themselves are not really gay, but con desperate homosexuals looking for some sexual relief.
Jian has decided that this is the type of lifestyle that he wants to live. He could have remained at home, continued his schooling; gone to university; found a decent job. Instead, this poor homeless beggar actually likes his life on the street.
Sometime ago he confessed that sometimes he makes up to 200 rmb per day, and that everyday he eats 3 square meals in restaurants. Not just cheap street stalls, but proper expensive restaurants. I know he was not lying about this, for while Raymond Zhou from China Daily had been trying to tell me that Jian was a poor country boy, everything about him spoke of a person well used to the 'good life'. This was nowhere more evident than in restaurants. He ordered food with authority, without looking at prices and ordered only the best meals.
I don't know what the future holds for this boy, but one thing is sure. That future is the one he has chosen. He had other choices, but was not interested.
So where does that leave me? Am I a fool for helping him? Obviously the answer is yes! But until one walks the road, one cannot know it's ending, and though I may walk many useless roads, I still cannot turn my eyes and heart away from those who appear to be in need.
I remember as a teenager, standing beside my father in our shop, watching a man leave it loaded with food for his family; food my father had given without payment, but with a promise that the debt would be repaid. As the man walked out, my father said: 'Well that's the last we will see of him!'
He explained to me that he could not let a man's wife and family go hungry just because the man was a loser of some type. But 6 months later that man returned and paid his debt.
I continued to see Jian on and off during the 18 months that I lived in Suzhou. He made quite a lot of bad decisions and continues to this day living day-to-day, earning cash the only way he knows how.
As time has gone by, he has finally understood the futility of his life, and now understands the tragic consequences of the original decision to run away from home.
He has no skill, no training, no qualification, no permanent address and no experience at anything. He cannot find any proper employment.
He put his family through a lot, and who knows if one day they may finally understand that he is a 'special' boy with special needs. One can only hope!
While he is young he will find ways to make money, but as time goes by it will not be so easy. Who knows what will then become of him?
R.P.BenDedek is from Brisbane Australia and is the author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' at http://www.kingscalendar.com His academic articles set forth Apologetics for and results of his discovery of an "artificial chronological scheme" running through the Bible, Josephus, the Damascus Documents of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and Seder Olam Rabbah.
He writes photographic 'Stories from China' and social editorial commentaries, both at KingsCalendar, and as a contributing newspaper columnist. He currently teaches Conversational English in China and in addition to his English Lessons at KingsCalendar, he has created specific sites for Students of English.
